Hulk Rumors Summary

Wednesday, August 14 2002

Posted on Movie Poop Shoot

I came across the following article on Kevin Smith's Moviepoopshot.com Nothing new, except for the bit about the new trailer appearing this Fall/Winter. It's an entertaining read that summarizes the validity of various Hulk rumors. Please, please, please do not interpret what comes below to be an actual excerpt from the script.

The following was posted on Movie Poop Shoot:

THE BOTTOM OF THINGS

August 14, 2002
By Michael Sampson

INT. BRUCE BANNER'S LABORATORY - DAY
A dark, gray laboratory located on the campus of UC Berkeley. Computer screens blip and flash in the background. Behind a sparsely decorated desk sits Dr. Bruce Banner (33), whose hands wrap around his head. By the look on his face we can tell he is in obvious pain. CAMERA DOLLIES up above Banner to a yellow siren affixed to the wall, which begins to blare.

CUT TO:

EXT. LABORATORY - DAY
Two young SECURITY GUARDS, dressed in tight blue uniforms barge through the door to the lab and immediately turn to Dr. Banner.

GUARD #1 (voice shaking)
Sir, we've got a major situation. Two of the dogs are loose.

BANNER leaps up from his chair with a look of immediate concern replacing the grimace of pain.

BANNER
What the fuck?! What happened? How far have they gotten.

GUARD #1
We don't know sir. They've escaped their cages but as far as we know, they're still contained in the...

Before the GUARD can finish his sentence an abnormally large, green-skinned dog bursts through the door behind them. GUARD #2 is knocked to his feet. GUARD #1 stands in a ready position, his service rifle trembling in his hands. Banner can only stare. CAMERA pushes in to the snarling face of the HULK DOG, a former German Shephard whose body and mind have been terribly altered by the radiation experiments partly shepherded by Banner. It resembles a dog only in the loosest sense on the word, with both green fur and yellow eyes, and is, in fact, more wolf-life in its appearance. The DOG crouches with its backside arched high and head lying close to the ground. A thick, clear glob of drool drips down the right canine of the beast. A low, constant growl continues to escape through the DOG's tightly clenched teeth.

GUARD #1 (whispering)
What...now?

BANNER (whispering)
Well, I'd say the situation just got worse.

The CAMERA pans out of the initial dog to reveal more dogs out of focus in the background. As they lurk closer, the three HULK DOGS come into focus and join their counterpart. GUARD #1 now reshifts his aim from one to another. And another. He's unsure where to aim as the four dogs close in on him and Banner. The lead dog leaps and the GUARD fires. It's over in a second as the dog is on top of the GUARD ripping at his neck with razor sharp teeth. Banner takes a step back. Again, his hands cup his head and his face returns to the look of pain. The remaining dogs strangely don't attack him. They walk up slowly, sniffing the air. Banner holds on to a nearby floor to right himself. The dogs walk away and head towards GUARD #2 who is still unconscious on the floor. As they slink closer, a loud roar comes from off-camera. The dogs snap their heads back to see a shaking Bruce Banner, doubled over in pain. The CAMERA zooms in. His head snaps up to reveal an eye slowly turning green. The CAMERA PANS OUT as we see the complex transformation from Bruce Banner to THE HULK. His lab coat rips off, muscles bulge and when all is said and done, the monster rises up to over fifteen feet. THE HULK raises his fists above his head and lets out an enormous bellow. All four dogs whimper as they stand in the massive shadow of THE HULK. HULK immediately swipes his fist forward, grabbing the lead dog, still on top of GUARD #1. He cups the dog in his hand and throws it across the lab where it crashes into a metal closet and falls to the ground with a thud. With another swipe, he swats the rest of the dogs away from GUARD #1, sending them careening across the room. HULK's head snaps to the side and he's joined by the equally as large SHE-HULK. While she has certain distinguishable HULK characteristics, she maintains her feminine side with a buxom chest and tight waist. SHE-HULK and HULK hold hands and run right through the wall of the laboratory. CAMERA dollies up as we see the two green monsters skipping off into the sunset.

FADE TO BLACK.

END.

If you couldn't tell by the improper formatting or overall awful writing, that's not a script excerpt from THE HULK. But considering all the weird reports and the mystery shrouding the set of the film, I don't know if I'd be all that surprised if I sat down in a theater in late June of 2003 and this unspooled before my eyes. Director Ang Lee has admitted to having little knowledge of the comic book before signing on to the film, which made most HULK devotees nervous. Even more unnerving were the reports that the shooting draft of the script was veering way off-course from the comic mythology of "The Incredible Hulk." While I'm excited the guy who made CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON will be directing THE HULK, I, a comic devotee, also worried we were getting into dangerous territory by completely reinventing the character's origin. So I decided to do some research to calm my own nerves and hopefully the nerves of my comic-book reading compatriots.

NAKED HULK?
RUMOR: Universal Production President Mary Parent was once quoted as saying, "Ang made a creative choice...to have (The Hulk) naked. It's like he's first born." Say what now? "He's posed in a way that's not revealing. Obviously, we're not having frontal Hulk nudity."
TRUE OR FALSE?: I can think of only one person I'd like to see naked in THE HULK and it's not the titular character. It's that Nick Nolte. Isn't he dreamy? No, of course it's the amply endowed Jennifer Connelly. But while I hope and pray for the slightest glimpse of that Connelly Cleavage, the thought of staring at giant, hairy Hulk ass on-screen, gives me a case of profuse vomiting the likes of which haven't been seen since Simon Peter took advantage of Jesus's water-to-wine trick at the Last Supper. Bad analogies aside, the question remains as to whether we actually can expect to see Hulk in the buff. While you'd think a quote from a Universal exec is as official as you could get, there have been conflicting reports, seeing as how pictures have surfaced of Bruce Banner, post-"Hulk-out," with the trademark ripped purple pants. Ang Lee recently clarified the issue saying the purple pants scene was simply the first Hulk transformation of many and that while the rating was contracted to be PG-13, there would be "variations" in the Hulk-outs as the film progressed.

THE ABSORBING MAN IS THE FILM'S VILLAIN?
RUMOR: The main villain in THE HULK would be minor comic baddie Crusher Creel, aka The Absorbing Man, who possesses the ability to take on the properties of any type of matter he should come in contact with.
TRUE OR FALSE: At the recent San Diego ComiCon, Lee stated that there was no Absorbing Man in the film. But...

HULK GENETICS?
RUMOR: Bruce Banner's father, David, was actually the first victim of radiation, leaving him with the ability to take on the properties of any type of matter...sounds familiar, eh? Those genes were passed on to young Bruce who begins to exhibit Hulk-esque symptoms even as a baby.
TRUE OR FALSE: It is true that David Banner was also a scientist experimenting in some of the same areas his son did. It is also true that David Banner wasn't a particularly good father or husband. He was a violent alcoholic who frequently beat his wife and eventually, his abuse killed her. Bruce's witness of that violence has lead to his repression of anger and emotion (for fear of continuing the cycle of abuse) which eventually leads to the HULK transformation. It is unknown, however, whether the movie will have a baby Hulk or if David Banner will possess Absorbing Man's characteristics. The synopsis for the film at the official site, states that Bruce Banner's father, played by Nick Nolte, is a man "who unwittingly passes on a tragic legacy to his son." Again, what this means is unclear, but expect some sort of genetic transfer from father to son that is enhanced by the accident at Banner's lab.

SHE-HULK?
RUMOR: A report that originated on Ain't It Cool News stated that "there is apparently a 'female Hulk' that appears briefly in Ang Lee's HULK. Briefly, because she is subjected to too much gamma radiation and dies shortly afterwards. She is like the 'prototype' to the real hulk."
TRUE OR FALSE?: I'm happy to report this is just another case of a nerd sitting at home with too much time on his hands who decides to concoct some bogus story to see if he can get the best of the web community. Yes, the prospect of seeing Hulk-sized boobies is an intriguing one, but no, I don't think it's a very good idea. It's bad enough with the Hulk-dogs. Speaking of which...

DID YOU JUST SAY HULK-DOGS?
RUMOR: That I did. In addition to Bruce Banner going green, a number of lab dogs will go through the transition and Hulk-out.
TRUE OR FALSE?: No one associated with the production will officially comment on Hulk-dogs, which traditionally means one thing - it's true. That, combined with repeated, strong information from a variety of different sources (including confirmation that Hulk dogs will appear in the official HULK video game adaptation), lends one to believe that yes...there will be Hulk-dogs. In exactly what capacity is unknown. Will they be friends of Hulk? Minions of a villainous David Banner? Neither?

HAS THE HULK PRODUCTION TEAM LOST ITS MIND?
RUMOR: The HULK production team has, according to one internet columnist, gone completely insane and overboard in their attempts to make the film their own.
TRUE OR FALSE?: While I've yet to confirm this with documented proof from a board certified psychiatrist, the above Hulk-dog scenario would certainly lead one to believe so. Is this a bad thing? Now THAT'S the $60,000 question.

THE HULK WON'T BE REVEALED UNTIL THE MOVIE PREMIERES?
RUMOR: A la GODZILLA, producers will keep the look of The Hulk a secret until the film's opening weekend, hoping to capitalize on the anticipation of the fans.
TRUE OR FALSE?: False. A new trailer will premiere this holiday season that will debut the CGI Hulk in all his glory. No word on whether he'll be butt-ass nekkid. The trailer could likely be attached to RED DRAGON on October 4th or 8 MILE on November 8th - the two major Universal releases this season.

So with a little research I've managed to calm my own minor Hulk-out and simply trust Ang Lee that he won't mess this up. And even if it doesn't completely follow Hulk continuity, I won't mind as long as it's a quality movie. As long as they avoid the temptation to have us "Hulk-sizing" our value meals at Burger King and have Hulk and Betty Ross skipping off into the sunset, I'll be happy. Oh, and some Jennifer Connelly boobage couldn't hurt.

Wanna talk about this bit of news? Start a discussion over at the boards.

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